One Of These Evenings
by pet-munchkin
Summary: He didn’t turn around or even look up from his book, neither did he say anything. He didn’t have to, because it was obvious that it was her who had come to see him. It was always her… - Prequel to "Seeking Comfort, Seeking Love", set three weeks after


**Pairing:** R/T (as always)

**Rating:** Kplus

**Warning:** none whatsoever (except grammar mistakes and things like that, of course... -.-)

**Length:** about 3,875 words (bit longer than the other one)

**Disclaimer:** So one day JKR came to me and said: "It's all yours, you can have it!" Merlin, I was happy that day. But did I say _day_? No, it was night actually and well... just a dream. -sigh- When I woke up I knew that nothing in the HP-world belonged to me and it's still JKR's today. But... who said dreams don't come true? Oh, they will... ;)

**Summary:** _He didn't turn around or even look up from his book, neither did he say anything. He didn't have to, because it was obvious that it was her who had come to see him. It was always her..._ - Takes place three weeks after _Seeking Comfort, Seeking Love _(I'd say still between OotP and HBP); Tonks joines Remus in the library (as always) and their friendship slowly develops into something more... (I know I said companion piece which I reckon would mean that it should be set at the same time as the other story, just from a different point of view, but it's more of a sequel actually, although I would still call it companion piece because it _is_ Remus' POV this time and I think/hope it does explain a few things...)

**Beta:** none (yet... -cough-)

**Author's notes:** -sigh- I sigh a lot these days. It's the stories' fault, especially _this_ story's fault. To be honest, it's my least favourite (up until now) but I'll tell you at the end why, because I don't want to take the fun out of reading. And as we're on the subject already, have fun reading! ;D

OoOoOoOoO

**One Of These Evenings**

(Sequel to: _Seeking Comfort, Seeking Love_)

Remus sat on the couch in the library of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place reading a book with little interest but since there was nothing else to do he had figured he might as well enjoy some relaxing time. He felt tired, exhausted and weary though this didn't come as a surprise. It was rather normal for him, always had been which didn't make it better at all but actually all the more despicable, and yet he knew that his personal state had improved lately and he knew even better what or rather who had caused this progress. He was thankful for it, no doubt, but he sometimes wondered if this wasn't a reason to worry about it all the more…

He was just about to turn another boring page when he heard the familiar, quiet knock on the door, almost inaudible, and then the door itself being pushed open. He didn't turn around or even look up from his book, neither did he say anything. He didn't have to, because it was obvious that it was her who had come to see him. It was always her…

"Wotcher Remus" came Tonks' bright though faintly sleepy voice from behind as she made her way through the library to where he was sitting, knocking against something (the table, he supposed) as she did so. He couldn't help but smile to himself and replied:

"Hello Nymphadora."

Finally, she came into focus on his left side and settled next to him, letting out a long, relieved sigh in the process. For the fraction of a second he let the word "beautiful" slip into his mind when his eyes set on Tonks as he gave her a smile that she replied with a beam, but he quickly returned to his book, shoving the inappropriate thought aside while he felt the need to shake his head in shame. What was he thinking?

"Busy day?" he asked, trying to concentrate his gaze on the book, although he wasn't really interested in reading much further.

"Just a thousand investigations today. My feet should dead by now" she answered in a moping voice and he could see from the corner of his eye that she was eying her shoes curiously. With a swift motion she shook them of and stretched her feet as she let out another heavy sigh, then she brought them to rest on the couch while leaning in against his shoulder with her head. Her hair, he noted, was a soft green today, only long enough to cover her ears. A curl fell in her face and for a second his fingers twitched confusingly.

"But I think the day's getting better by second" she added softly, shifting her position slightly in order to nestle closer into his shoulder while she looked up at him with a wide, somewhat sheepish smile playing on her face. He felt his fingers twitch again.

It had been three weeks now since she first had come to him. He didn't quite know why he had let her do this in the first place and even wondered from time to time why he had let her do it since, but unexpectedly he had found that he didn't mind and had become used to her presence very quickly. It seemed almost natural now, at least to him though he supposed (hoped?) that she felt the same. She would come every evening at about the same time, if her tightly scheduled work and both their occasional missions for the order allowed it, and throw herself on the couch next to him. She would start talking to him most of the times, telling him everything about her day or just making small talk, sometimes jokes that he found he enjoyed very much. Other times she would just be too sleepy to talk or do anything else in particular. However, in the end she would always lie down, using his shoulder as a pillow (that she had stated to be very good to sleep on at several times) and fall asleep within seconds. He had thought quite often that it must seem odd, surely was odd, but had to admit at the same time that it felt quite all right, good even. Her presence wasn't annoying, not even on those occasions where she sometimes distracted him to an extent that he almost felt the need to cast a _Silencing Charm_. Not even then he considered her presence to be annoying but on the contrary brightening, heart-warming and funny and he had caught himself every evening eagerly waiting for her to come and being quite disappointed when she couldn't. Though, of course, he'd never admit this to anyone, least of all himself.

After several minutes of mutual silence, he decided that the book he was reading (or rather staring at) proved to be, indeed, quite boring and he slapped it together and put it aside. Next to him, Tonks gave a quiet moan as she shifted a little and caught his attention. His gaze came to linger on her before he could stop it and the inappropriate thought from before jumped involuntarily into his mind again.

"Enough already?" she mumbled tiredly, her eyes closed and her voice drowsy.

"Well, the book's sort of boring" he told her and felt a smile form on his face although he knew she wouldn't be able to see it. However, she opened her sleepy eyes all of a sudden and looked at him with at first surprise, then disbelief written all over her face.

"Wait... Did I just hear you say that reading is boring?"

He chuckled softly at her seemingly shocked tone yet fixed his gaze on the fireplace, only vaguely aware of the calming sensation and warmth that it filled the room with. Had she caught him staring?

"I did not say that _reading_ is boring" he told her matter-of-factly though unable to hold back amusement in his voice.

"But you said that that book is boring!"

She shifted just an inch or two closer, peering up at him with a triumphant glance in her eyes, the sleepiness gone as it seemed. And she smirked. He wondered, as he had done quite often, why he never minded her being this close, especially since he wasn't used to people wanting to be close to him. Did she even? Want to be close to him? But then again, she wouldn't be here, sleeping at his side every evening if she didn't want to, would she?

It was a rather painful process of musing which he had undergone several times. He had often thought about telling her to keep at least some distance and he had thought about if maybe there was more to it for her than just seeking comfort in a friend. He had thought about what it meant; for her, for him, for everyone who might have noticed. And people must have noticed, he was sure, and felt a jolt of panic every time he would consider this, but still, he could never really put into action what he felt he had to. He could never really tell her that he felt worried about their situation, about the development of their friendship. Well, not felt, actually, more in the line of thought. As it was, mind and heart never seemed to work together when it came down to the simple topic of Nymphadora Tonks. His heart cheered at the sight of her, his mind reprimanded him for that. But again, this was an idea that he would always shove away as quickly as it dared penetrate his mind. It was easier that way, he supposed, much safer...

Out of the corner of his eye he saw that she was still staring at him and he brought himself to look back at her, holding her gaze for moment whilst fully taking in the shape of her young face. The war, he noted with a shallow pain in his stomach, had left its marks on her. She looked tired, less colourful and more adult-like than before, however she was still beautiful (he couldn't deny this) and vivid in her own unique way and still young (he better not deny this either) and the way she smiled at him just now, sheepish but affectionate… Yet another thought that he quietly shook from his head. Although deep down, somewhere buried in his heart, there was a Remus who didn't like the idea of distance anymore – never had actually – there was also the Remus whom he had lived with for decades and who was telling him vehemently not to let her get too close which would undeniably result in harming her. _Undeniably…_

"Yes, I reckon I did say that" he resigned finally, a little sigh escaping his mouth. She sniggered into his shoulder.

"Now there's something to shock me for a lifetime!" she said, unsuccessful in holding the serious tone that she had undoubtedly settled for. She sniggered again and he laughed quietly at her joke, wondering vaguely how she always managed to brighten his mood without so much as simply being herself. It was such a lovely trait of hers that he valued like nothing else, wouldn't ever want to miss.

Some minutes passed in comfortable silence in which he watched the flames dance once more and let his mind fill with contentment and pleasure, let feelings and heart take over for a second. A unique girl in every way, he thought. Three weeks and she had managed to make him feel better than he had ever felt before, even though he had just lost his best friend for the second time and for good. It was in these moments that he thought that "dependence" wasn't a description for a lost cause holding desperately and far too much onto somebody, but actually a word for trust, faith and believe in somebody whom one treasured and was able to rely on. And he treasured her, always would, couldn't not... and in some way even depended on her.

With the minutes passing by, he slowly began to think that she might have drifted off to sleep after all, but then she shook with laughter again. He eyed her in surprise.

"Still laughing about my lifetime-shocking confession?"

She shook even harder at this, sniggering loudly and seemingly uncontrollably against his shoulder and once again he became aware of their physical closeness in an awkwardly pleasant way. After she had composed herself, she smiled at him and he noted that her cheeks seemed to have gone a bit pink.

"No, it's just…" she started fiddling with a loose thread on his jumper and obviously tried very hard to bite back another laughter "…I was thinking about a conversation I had with Molly this morning."

He raised a curious eyebrow at her.

"I take it that it might've been quite funny?"

"Yeah… well…" her eyes roamed the room and he had the brief impression that she was unable to look at him "… she said that she'd noticed me… er… _visiting_ you here every evening..."

A jolt of concern erupted in his stomach. Molly, of all people. If there was anyone to notice anything going on, it was Molly. Not that he had a problem with this; he knew that people had noticed Tonks' and his strange behaviour, it was far too obvious to go unnoticed. The only thing he found rather disturbing was that they might read something into this that wasn't there at all. (Wasn't, right?) And if Molly knew, then Arthur knew, then the Order knew, the kids knew, Harry knew… well, everyone knew, he supposed - and felt rather uncomfortable with this.

"And she said she thought that… you know, maybe something was going on between us…"

Her voice was but a murmur now. She was still fiddling with his jumper's loose thread, smiling nervously and a growing sensation in his stomach began to confuse him very much. What was it? Panic? Bliss? He couldn't quite make out.

"Which is very funny…" he said, feigning seriousness and felt quite content that he was still able to hide his confusing emotions. Her eyes met his again and she grinned at him, cheeks even pinker than before.

"Hm… flattering maybe" she said quietly and her grin grew even wider. This time, the jolt in his stomach was unmistakable. Alarm, disbelief, appreciation, enjoyment – it contained too many different feelings and he wasn't quite sure how to react. Had she? Or had she not said this? Did she mean it? And more importantly, in which way did she mean it? Surely, she couldn't be thinking of him as fanciable or someone who women look out for? _A ridiculous thought, perfectly absurd_, he told himself. How could she believe that the suggestion of a possible relationship between them was something to be flattered about?

He broke his gaze on her and settled it on the fire once more, watching her from the corner of his eye as she looked away, too, and reddened visibly this time. They sat in more than uncomfortable silence for some minutes, his brain still racking to find a fitting reaction for her confession. Confession? No, not at all. Just a joke. One of her usual, not really meant flirtations that she sometimes came up with for no reason. He wondered why he couldn't simply laugh at this. Should he?

Next to him, Tonks began to shift several times, noticeably nervous and he longed to put her at ease somehow but then he felt her arm's weight on his and it was her who broke the silence instead of him.

"You know you have very large arms?"

He looked at her just in time to see her watch the arrangement of their arms, hers on his, curiously. He needed a minute to understand the question that was entirely out of context (of his own mind, at least) and could only hardly suppress an amused smile then. Instead he raised an eyebrow at her.

"I didn't but thank you very much for reminding me" he lightly teased her. She met his eye again and bit her lip.

"Wanna know what I told her?"

He frowned at her.

"Told who?" he asked, her renewed sudden change of topic slightly confusing him. She rolled her eyes.

"Molly! Wanna know what I told her when she asked me if there was something going on between…" and she pointed a finger from him to herself, a cheeky smile playing on her face. There it was again, he thought, the senseless flirtation in her voice, the almost impish yet absurd flicker in her eyes. But certainly it was meaningless, had to be…

He considered his answer for a moment, indecisive, and then replied truthfully:

"I'm not quite sure if I want to know…"

She sniggered again into his shoulder and he found that apparently he liked making her laugh, although, admitted, a laughing Tonks was not that difficult to bring about since it was natural on her. Vivid, always happy, always laughing, while he himself was quiet and kind, a bit moody lately, only remotely happy. Plus she was young, he was old, she was well-liked, he… just wasn't usually and only had a handful of friends (and he tended to lose them one after another over the years). Not to forget that she was an Auror, a metamorphmagus, while he himself was merely a jobless werewolf… Dear Merlin, he sighed inwardly. They really contradicted each other in every possible way, he though, shoving the pang of regret and disappointment that had come with this realisation from his mind and as far away as possible.

"Tell me anyway" he said with a gentle smile forming on his face. She grinned back cheekily again and he knew that she feigned the frown on her face now, as if she was trying hard to remember.

"Well… I think I was telling her something in the line of: Nah, it's nothing serious, really. Just some cuddling, a nice shag once in a while… you know, the usual…"

Another jolt of electricity erupted in his stomach, almost too evident within himself that he momentarily thought she must've noticed it as well. He tried to cover it with laughing at her joke – and then frowned. It was a joke, wasn't it? And yet with Nymphadora one never quite knew…

"But you didn't really…?"

He wasn't certain he even wanted to hear the answer. He was, well, about ninety-nine percent sure that she hadn't actually, wrongly confessed a relationship between him and her to Molly, but still there remained her impish grin and the jolt in his stomach that had grown into a wildly bouncing something by now, and it was in some way (shut-away Remus told him that from the back of his mind) tempting to think that she might have considered this, her and him, that she might have considered a possible relationship between _them_. But then again... why? It would be truly ridiculous. He was a werewolf, after all, right?

He was shaken out of his musings when Tonks began to laugh. He supposed that she had tried to hold it back, unsuccessfully though.

"No" she told him, taking her eyes off of his and starting to fiddle with the loose thread on his jumper again. "Not really… My actual reply was a lot less amusing and even less less witty, I have to admit."

She glanced up at him and bit her lip and he had the sudden feeling that she was nervous again. He wondered how she had managed to go from cheeky and flirtatious to nervous and shy in a mere second. But it hadn't been flirtatious anyway, at least he knew she didn't mean to, not with him she couldn't…

"Well…" she mumbled and let out a soft, slightly uneasy chuckle. "I think it was more something in the line of blushing and stuttering" she sighed "I know, I know… nothing really witty... but I told you so, didn't I?"

He studied her features intently and came to the conclusion that this must've been her true reaction to Molly's suggestions. His throat felt rather dry all of a sudden and he was at a loss for words when he knew he better shouldn't be. A smile crept its way onto her face when she seemed to have realised just how much her answer had affected him. And it had, in every way. She had practically confessed… well, what exactly?

"But I did tell her that I like you."

Yes, exactly, she had practically confessed that she liked him. _Liked_ him? Liked _him_? He drew in a sharp breath at her words, unable to make out the reason why she would say something so... confusing. And incomprehensible. Oh, truly incomprehensible! But she obviously wanted him to know. And she was smiling again. Merlin...

"A lot…" she added quietly, blushing once more and avoiding his eyes again which he only appreciated very much at the moment since it kept her from noticing the involuntary smile that had somehow claimed his face even if he had tried hard to fight it. He knew he should be shocked and he truly was but…

"You did…?" he asked her and was surprised at how calm his voice seemed to be, how cheeky the words sounded. She nodded almost childishly and glanced back up at him for a second and then somewhere else right away, breaking the charm between them that only now he realised was enchanting them whenever their set eyes on each other. She shifted away from his shoulder and straightened herself so that she was on the same level as him now. She drew her eyes back at him, a twinkle in them that made her face shine in beauty. Merlin, she was beautiful, why had he ever considered denying the fact?

"You know I do? I mean like you. Don't you?"

A frown had formed on her forehead while she had spoken and there had been a hint of worry in her voice. His brain, however, seemed to work rather slow given her words and he swallowed (hopefully not too obviously) before he could even utter anything at all. Unfortunately, the lump in his throat, that he hadn't noticed had formed there somewhere in between their conversation, got stuck when he opened his mouth and so he sounded even hoarser than usual, almost husky:

"I know…" he said slowly, nervously. She smiled and grabbed the loose thread on his jumper once more, fiddling with it absentmindedly (or was she simply drawing him closer to her?) but never taking her eyes from his.

"'Cause I thought it was evident…"

"Quite" he managed to say, trying feverishly to calm down the wildly bouncing something in his stomach that had returned with renewed force and that he knew now he hadn't felt in ages which only seemed to make it all the more worse. He barely noticed that her chest was rising and falling in such a fast and irregular pace – very much like his.

"Because… because otherwise I wouldn't…"

Her voice trailed off and her eyes flickered briefly to a point very much below his eyes but still above his chin. He knew immediately and with panic rising in his mind what she was going to do and that he only had the fraction of a second to stop her from actually doing it. It was an easy thing to avoid, he supposed, he just had to say something or back away or keep her from leaning in somehow – just do _anything_ since an action of some sort would undoubtedly stop her. But his brain still felt utterly busy with the realisation and comprehension of the fact that she even considered (might have considered before?) and, which seemed both wonderful and impossible at the same time, also actually _wanted_ to do right now what she was about to do, and besides there was also the growing feeling in his stomach that he couldn't quite make out, and which yet proved more than willing not to stop her. But he should, really, he should…

Oh Merlin...

He didn't.

Instead, he watched her eyelids flutter closed in slow-motion as she leaned in and brushed her lips over his before he, surprised by himself, did the same. The fraction of a second in which he could've prevented her from doing so had gone, passed by in what seemed like a lifetime of indecision, and now he felt the soft moving of her lips against his and he couldn't help but give in to the feeling of joy that they caused. There was no panic anymore, no questions rising at all. Every little worry seemed to have dissolved into nothingness. And in the end it was just her and him in the library of Grimmauld Place on one of these evenings, three weeks after she had invaded his privacy or probably after they had shared their privacy in order to comfort each other, and finally everything seemed utterly right and entirely perfect and the way he always thought it should have been but never dared dream about the day his wishes might come true.

OoOoOoOoO

So first of all I have to say: Thank you SO MUCH for all the wonderful reviews; they really backed me up a lot. I know of course that I can do much better (well, you can always do better, can't you?) and I truly can assure you that future stories will be better than this one or the last one. The reason why I don't like this story anymore is because it develops even more slowly than the other one and there are some passages that are just badly written (in my opinion). Also, it's self-conscious-Remus all over again and I have no idea why I wrote it this way (I really do hate self-conscious Remus). I reckon it's because I did this so long ago when I didn't have much experience on fanfiction that it came out like this. And another thing: The ending is just... geez, it annoys me so much that it's so sudden and cheesy... -sigh- I'll stop my ranting now, makes me depressive. Well, I'd really like to write a better version some day and I believe I will when I have the time and my muse comes around to visit and inspire me. So yeah, please tell me what you think and review (and criticise) all the way you like. Thank you again, also for reading! ;D

Please note that I have put up another story to make up for this one; it's a series of vignettes concerning R/T (of course). You can visit my fanfiction site for further information, I've put up an overview there of all my stories. If you're nosy just click on my name and read all about it! ;)

Wish you fun today and for the future, see ya und tschüß


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